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It's been about 5 years since both of my brothers leave home to pursue their dream of becoming doctors (though I remember 2nd bro wanted to become a vet). 5 long years of being alone in this small quiet house. We used to have a lot of fun when we were together, how we fought for the sole computer sitting in our home; how 2nd brother made our own pen-and-paper RPG game; how big brother invented our own "Shaker pen" that could be used to write nothing but wavy lines by attaching a motor at the end of a pen; how we talked about games all day; how we role-played those stuffed animals/bugs when we could not sleep. But time seems to have taken those fun away from us. Stuffed animals and bugs have been lying dormant since they left home.
We do contact each other though, and I'm rather grateful that technology has made the world seems so small. Mainly via MSN, they sometimes will call back home to chat with dad and mom and grandma, although it seems that big bro tends to call home more often. But the thing is, out of the 10 calls they made, I never answered once. Or at most once.
Everytime I open up MSN, I will see the "ever-so-familiar smiling kite" picture of big bro or the "ever-changing" picture of 2nd bro. But we seldom utter a word. Not unless we have something important to say.
Big bro has a peculiar nickname: The Eternal Optimist. Sure, in the last few days, I read his blog. It does have the tone of optimism. He preaches it. He believes in it.
2nd bro has a peculiar habit: Putting a random "status" in his name. After reading his blog, I find that it has the tone of playfulness (I'm desperately grasping for words).
That lefts me.
I don't know, but I do believe in astrology. Being a Virgo, I'm rather introverted, hygeinic, quiet, and pessimistic. Seems like I'm the reversed version of my big bro. Incidentally, among the 3 of us, big bro and I seem to have greater distance in between. My blog has also been lying dormant, as I don't have much to ramble on. Even if I ramble, there ain't anyone to read them. I guess the visitor count is mainly contributed by myself.
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Updates from home:
Dad has been transferred to work at another location. Home is suddenly quieter. Dad won't come home to have lunch now, so lunch is now consist of random noodle or beehoon, two of grandma's specialty. No more rice with vege or fish or meat. Daily activities include:
- feeding chickens (there are dozens of them!)
- feeding rabbits (they are so fat that I think the cage is going to collapse)
- listening to animals (chickens, dogs, birds, etc)
- sitting around, watching chickens
Most of the time I will go out, but leaving grandma at home alone sometimes hurts me inside.
And not forgetting that I still have to decide which university to apply.
Suddenly, I feel so alone...
