Sunday 30th July 2006

Sunday 30th July 2006. It's a Black Sunday for me. People may ask why. And i am about to answer that question. But first, let me tell you about what happened before all this. Flashback: About half a year ago, a brown female stray dog came to my house. Her tail was very short. Seemed like her tail was bitten off. My mom once said, "Look at her. Look at how pity she is. God knows how long she has been starving. Let's give some of this leftover food to her." The dog wagged its short tail, eyes filled with joy. Undescribable joy. Her nose was black. It looked like some kind of Alsatian, only it was still a puppy. She gobbled down the leftover food as if she really had been starving for a week. From that day on, whenever our family had dinner, she would come to our backyard, lying in front of the door, waiting to be served. I wanted to name her, but i couldn't think of any good name. Little did I know i will never have the chance to name her. Then, after a few months, came yet another stray dog. It is a male white dog, with some brown spots at the back of its body. He came with the female dog to our backyard, waiting for food. Sometimes they fought because there wasn't enough food for them. But despite that, they were good friends. They were usually seen playing with each other. The male dog is rather afraid of human, whereas the female was as bold as a tiger. No matter how you shoo her, she won't even walk away. The only thing she would do is wag her tail and stared at you with those watery eyes as if thinking that you would give her anything to eat. Their lives were great, with my mom and my neighbour provided them food everyday. I still remember my neighbour, with his trademark knocking sound of his pot containing food for the dogs, giving them food on that very Saturday night, 29th July 2006. I saw the two dogs wagging their tails, enjoying the food. Little did I know that would be the last meal for the female dog. The next morning, Sunday 30th July 2006, I awoke suddenly when I heard my father scolding my grandma. I heard he said something about the dogs. I was thinking that something must had happend to them. But trying to be optimistic, I decided not to even think about that. After I finally woke up, my mom told me that one of the dogs, the female dog, to be exact, had passed away. I thought my mom was joking, because that's what she always do. I asked my mom again to confirm, and she really meant it. She told me the whole story: "A-poh (meaning grandma in chinese) went to walk this morning. The two dogs accompanied her as they always do. When A-poh walked along the road in front of our estate, the two dogs were playing at the center of the road. That's when a car came from behind, unable to stop the car after the female dog suddenly went in front of his car." (I don't know how the dog was knocked, because i never ask. I don't know, and i don't want to know) Seeing the gesture of my mom's hand, I knew that the dog had gone. You may not find this story great or touching or emotional, because my writing skill restrict it. But I wrote this just to remind me about this dog in the future. Sunday 30th July 2006. This day will stay in my mind until the day I die. I will forever remember this unnamed dog. May she rest in peace...

An Accident

Sadness. That is what my heart feels whenever I see kids running around in the park with their parents. Until today, I still cannot forget the tragic accident that happened to me 2 years ago, which made me lost my left leg and my loved ones. As the result, I lost my freedom to move, and I do not have a shoulder to cry on anymore. Tears roll down my cheek as I watch the kids running around, playing hide-and-seek. I know I will not be able to walk or run like them for the rest of my life. I wish I had a prosthetic leg, but I just cannot afford it. As I look at the children, memory about the accident starts flowing back to my mind.

It was a usual Monday morning to others, but a black Monday to me. The day started with my parents went to visit my sick grandfather in a local hospital early in the morning. I could not follow them because I had to go to work. I woke up at 6.00 a.m. and started my daily routine. At about 7.00 a.m., I walked to the garage to get my mother’s car, a Kancil. My mother gave me the car because she could not drive anymore as she was very old. However, I was a little bit disappointed. I preferred sports cars rather than the old, humble, little Kancil, but I did not complain, because my mother always told me to count my blessings. After I got into my car, turned the ignition on, the car engine roared to life, and I was all ready to go to work. Unbeknown to me, that was the last day I drive a car.

I was a little surprised to see the almost empty road. Usually the road is packed with cars in the weekday’s morning, and the traffic almost always jams everyday. Staring at the long, straight empty road, I decided to try speeding as I was a racing enthusiast. I stepped on the accelerator, and the engine roared even more loudly. Before I could realize, my car was going at 120 kilometers per hour. I cannot, and will not, forget the excitement I felt at that time that made me suffer for the rest of my life. Everything was going so fast, and my hands were trembling, not with fear, but with the vibration of the steering. My heart was thudding so fast that I could not count how many times it had beaten.

Then, something in front of my car caught my eye. It was a car which had just turned out from a junction. Before I could step on the brake, my car rammed into the side of the car with a loud crash. I heard my car’s windscreen shattered before my head bumped on the car steering. I raised my head, which was throbbing painfully, to look at the driver of the other car. At that moment, I could not believe my eyes. Was that my parents? I tried to recognize them, but everything was a blur. After a few moments, everything went black. I had a blackout. I did not know how long I had been unconscious.

I woke up on a hospital bed. There was a nurse standing beside my bed. I tried to move my body, but there was something strange about it. I could not feel my left leg. “You lost your left leg in the accident,” the nurse said as if she knew what I was thinking. “And I’m very sorry to tell you that the car you rammed into belongs to your parents. Unfortunately, they did not survive,” she continued. Her voice was trembling, and I could see the sadness in her eyes. I froze for a few seconds, unable to accept the fact that my parents were gone. My heart was mixed with the feeling of fear, anger, regret, and sadness. I will never forget that day

Now, here I am, confined to a wheelchair for the rest of my life, staring at the children playing in the park, wiping the tears that roll down my cheek. I wish I could turn back the time to prevent the accident, but everyone knows that it is impossible. I will be staying in this health care centre forever and I learnt the hard way that speeding not only kills, it makes one suffer for the rest of his life.

A Friend Named Calvin

Have you ever had a friend, who is not easy to befriend? A friend who had suffered the pain of being a failure man? Then he dreamt : One day, he decided to walk to the bay, watching as the day, fade into the night's grey, because he couldn't think of any other ways. He started to think, that his life had no meaning. As he was about to walk towards the sea, then came a guy with a drink, who told him the reasons to live. The man changed his mind, and decided to bring the guy to dine. He thanked him, and said that fate binds, them to meet during that time... The guy I was telling, is the one who makes me, the man in the dream, begin to think and think, blink and blink. He is no superman, nor batman, nor spiderman, not even wonder woman. There's nothing special about him, the guy I met in dream. He is just an ordinary Ng Yi Bin, who also known as Calvin, but I am glad to have a friend like him!